is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
