come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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