He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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