Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she peed on how many people?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
