This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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