did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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