Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
