chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
