I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
