My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
