No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
