i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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