ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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