I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
