I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize