Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
