is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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