It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
