Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think a kid would responsible me up
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize