i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
