So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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