i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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