She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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