I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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