You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
