I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
