she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize