Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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