went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
