Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
