we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize