so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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