that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
two words: eviction party
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
