You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
