Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
