My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
