just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
