the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
