He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
