Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize