did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
