I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
