The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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