The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
