it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
