I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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