honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
