I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
