I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
