Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
