Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
