I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
