listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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