He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
