She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
