We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
