that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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