yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize