i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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