yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize