I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize