that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
