Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize