Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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