To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
