you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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