they need to just BURY HIM!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
