i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
sarcasm needs its own font
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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