just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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