Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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