it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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