Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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