I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
