She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
