i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
soo... how was my night?
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