I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I will pee on everything he values.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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